At this moment I’m working through a class, and I just want to be done.
The lectures are great, the books and articles are worth my time, and even the writing assignments are not awful.
Why is this class horrible then?
This class is a nightmare because it constantly reminds me that I’m no longer in control. I cannot write without God’s grace, I’m at the mercy of someone else for a decent grade, and I can’t stop. With that weakness comes fear, disgust, and self-pity.
I want to be ahead of schedule (I’m right on time), and I want to be a straight “A” student, (my GPA brought me to tears).
In the middle of this class I see God’s faithfulness to me, though. At the beginning of class I thought; “I can do this! I’ve had some of my writing published, and adults have told me that I’m a good writer.” Pride ruled my heart.
I see now that God in His grace choose to open my eyes to my pride, and lack of trust in Him. Psalm 37:5 says; “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act.” I am here to glorify God, by entrusting Him with my life.
Control vs. Trust. We cannot have both. Control belongs to the Lord, but trust belongs to His children.