Control vs. Trust

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At this moment I’m working through a class, and I just want to be done.

The lectures are great, the books and articles are worth my time, and even the writing assignments are not awful.

Why is this class horrible then?

This class is a nightmare because it constantly reminds me that I’m no longer in control. I cannot write without God’s grace, I’m at the mercy of someone else for a decent grade, and I can’t stop. With that weakness comes fear, disgust, and self-pity.

I want to be ahead of schedule (I’m right on time), and I want to be a straight “A” student, (my GPA brought me to tears).

In the middle of this class I see God’s faithfulness to me, though. At the beginning of class I thought; “I can do this! I’ve had some of my writing published, and adults have told me that I’m a good writer.” Pride ruled my heart.

I see now that God in His grace choose to open my eyes to my pride, and lack of trust in Him. Psalm 37:5 says; “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act.” I am here to glorify God, by entrusting Him with my life.

Control vs. Trust. We cannot have both. Control belongs to the Lord, but trust belongs to His children.

An Open Letter to a Birth Mother

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41 years ago America settled the debate on abortion in Roe vs Wade. This note is to a dear lady who had the right to choose, and today thanks to her choice I’m typing this note.

Dear Momma,

I wish that I could tell you this in person, but thank you for choosing life.

I will never know how hard, painful, or terrifying your life was for nine months. Did you have to hide the fact that you were expecting? Did anyone in your life even know? Too many questions, I know. Regardless, thank you for everything that you went through for me.

Thank you for allowing me the chance to have a better life. Today I live half-way around the world from you, in a country that is able to offer me more than you could ever dream about. A college education, and a decent job are all possible for me.

Thank you for giving me the chance to have a family. When you placed me on those steps, you had the courage to hope that one day I would have a place to call home. Today I have a wonderful family who loves me, laughs with me, and has always been there for me.

Thank you for granting me the chance to live. You could have made the choice to end my life, instead you made the choice to allow the Lord to fashion my life, with glorious moments of His grace.  A game day with friends, going to the beach, my graduation party, a guy named Ben, etc.; I treasure these memories, Momma. Thank you for the chance to live them.

Thank you most of all for the chance to glorify God with my life. You should know that I’m pursuing a journalism degree not only to write about politics, but to  become a voice for the women and children who are defenseless. The legacy of courage and love that you left behind for me is worth passing on; one day (Lord willing) another woman will make a choice, and take a stand, because of your legacy.

Momma, we will never meet this side of eternity, but I want you to know that you are special to me; one day (Lord willing) we will worship the Lord together in heaven.

Love,

Xiu (Morgan)